what should I give the title?

after class this evening, me, AC, Fendi and Mai went to the first year architecture students' studio. Kak Nikki invited AC and Fendi, and I just follow them before going back to college. the seniors, especially Huda and Nikki are very nice. they always motivate us to perform well in our foundation year cause it will determine our future whether we will get into architecture, building surveyor, quantity surveyor or estate management. both Kak Huda and Nikki are one of my PASUM senior. they were pre-FAB for batch 2009/2010 and they are amazing. seriously.

my first thought when I enter the studio,

awesome.

their sculpture, their design, their drawing and everything is awesome ! and they are awesome. too awesome. they are not just talented and creative, but brilliant.

they have no real life. they went to the studio in the morning and go back home in the next morning. fuhh. what a life. some of them were just breakup because they are too busy, and their partner cannot understand their schedule. hello. you are a girlfriend/boyfriend of a future architect. they can design your house, draw your portrait, do cool stuffs which others can't. so, be grateful !

I'm impress with all of them. *standing ovation*

"architecture is not a job, it's a life, you can't stop thinking about it"

I will definitely said, it's true !

I seriously wanna take my children into an art school someday. I want them to be an artist, an architect and a designer. I don't want them to face this situation. I hate myself for being so talentless. okay. seriously, I think too much. I wanna just do it. do it. just follow my instinct, but I can't. I have good ideas, but I don't know how to make them real. I'm way too far from design, too far from architecture. I actually good in studies. just studies. but I hate studies. I wanna do what I like to do, not what I'm able to do. nahh. now I got it. I'm too ambitious. I'm not realistic! but, some people said that we have to dream big. and I dream really big. crap. I better stop now. otherwise, I will rambling all over. I have to think about stop-motion animation. just left this shits aside. it doesn't make sense. bye !

If You Think of The Year 2050, Think Again.

okay. itu tajuk poster Climate Change and Global Warming untuk final projek subjek Graphic Communication dan juga untuk di submit ke entah-apa-nama-pertandingan-cool-art-ka-apa-benda. I don't give a damn.

malu nak post dalam blog. sangat malu. sebabnya sangat buruk. :'(

perasaan down yang menimpa-nimpa masih menebal.

down.

down.

down.

but, the good thing is, I got a sticker, which means that my poster is one of the 15 posters that have been chosen to participate in the competition. well. actually, Miss Anum likes the idea of my poster, not the presentation of the idea. she personally said that my drawing is so bad and looks childish just like a primary school student, even they can draw better than I do. but she gave me a sticker, being one of the best is awesome. but..

she wants me to redo everything but the tutors said that I just have to edit this and that. I'm depressed ! I have been thinking for a long time, under pressure this evening. how should I improve my poster ? is it possible for me to start all over again and make a better poster for this final project. it is final man, final! I want to be in design so fucking bad! but, if I redo it on the new paper, with the same idea but another way of presenting it, I will be seriously in trouble. I have to submit it on Friday. the stop-motion animation and another poster must be submitted on Monday and my MUET speaking test is also on the same day. and the next day is the exhibition night. andd, final examination is on the next week. gahh.

I seriously in depression.

but I won't cry. being here, being a student of Build Environment foundation year make me stronger. I can work under pressure, I can work without proper sleep and I can work on the very last minute. and I can do it !

haih.

come on.

any idea, suggestions, comments and criticisms are much appreciated. :)

climate change and global warming.

poster A1 besar sedepa tangan budak 8 tahun sudah in progress. oh. depaan tangan adik kembar aku mungkin sebesar ini aku agak. Alhamdulillah. berjalan jugak kerja. ini pon sebab Sabtu ini sudah perlu di submit. maka, final exam dan animation harus ditolak ke tepi dahulu.

idea sudah di approve oleh lecturer. okay. basically idea Shahir. aku sudah buntu berfikir. ideanya bertemakan no petrol vehicle. apa yang dia luahkan, gambaran kereta sedang di charge atau bulatan basikal dan ntah apa lagi idea yang menjangkaui batas tangan untuk melakar. idea seorang jurutera-tentera boleh tahan, tapi sangat mechanic. erk ?

dan setelah difikir-fikir, apa yang terluah di dalam sketch book ialah lakaran sebatang jalan raya yang berbangunan-bangunan tinggi, pesat membangun tetapi tanpa sebarang kenderaan bermotor, hanya kereta lembu. huh?

bangunan-bangunan mengikut perspektif dari pandangan hadapan, hanya diconteng-conteng dengan charcoal, pensil dan mungkin juga felt pen. cuma kereta lembu sahaja yang di bold kan dengan poster colour. awan-awan dan jalan raya masih belum difikirkan.

nahh. kedengaran sangat tinggi nilai estetika. berharapkan poster ini akan menyerlah dalam kalangan pelajar universiti-universiti lain yang bertanding, dan menggondol RM2000, memang sangat melampau. kerana, dengan hanya berbekalkan tangan yang tidak seberapa ini. dapat menyiapkan lukisan tersebut sudah bagus.

tetapi malangnya, aku lupa benda ini patut dibuat dalam tema 'cool art' dan aku dah penat mencari idea lain. malang.

kalau lah suatu hari nanti, ditakdirkan aku berkahwin dan beranak pinak, akan aku asuh anak-anak dari awal. sehari sepuluh lukisan korang kena submit kat mak ye nakk. nanti besar-besar jadi arkitek tau.

sampah.

aku cakap aku busy. ya. sangat busy. tapi aku tak boleh menahan jari ini dari menaip. tak boleh. aku perlu becakap. aku perlu meluah. aku perlu meludah.

Nurul Auni Zulkhairi sedang menghadapi saat-saat getir, saat saat jantung menunggu masa untuk pecah, saat-saat nazak, saat-saat hidup kucar-kacir, haru-biru, dan dia sudah tidak dapat menanggungnya lagi. adrenalin sudah di tahap optimum, Kolej Duabelas hanya menunggu masa untuk mendengar suara jeritan luahan tekanan perasaan.

Ya Allah. kuat Oni kuat. macam selalu yang kau laung-laungkan dalam hati. biar hakikatnya kau robek, selagi api di hati belum mati, peluang masih ada.

oh. masih adakah peluang untuk aku?

ataupun di saat emas di atas tangan,

belum pun sempat digenggam,

sudah jatuh berkecai-kecai.

seperti selalu.

sudah lah.

jangan berharap sangat.

itu yang aku belajar.

bukan lagi

DREAM BIG

yang macam selalu aku laungkan.

aku mahu menangis.

tapi air mata sudah kering.

tak.

tipu.

banyak lagi.

buat apa menangis.

buang masa.

buat apa menulis.

buang masa.

sudah lah.

bye bye !

finals.

Miss Anum said that it was just a simple example of stop-motion animation by using charcoal.

F. she would definitely said that mine is crap.

Chungking Express

directed by Wong Kar Wai.

cast :

Briggite Lin

Tony Leung

Faye Wong

Takeshi Kaneshiro

I'm dead.

October.

18th October 2010 : MUET speaking test

a little bit nervous cause I don't know who will be my group members. I hope I can get at least band 4 or 5. heh.

19th October 2010 : submit Graphic Communication final project

I have to submit my final project of Graphic Communication subject which is an A1 size climate change poster, Chungking Express 30 seconds stop-motion animation and a poster of the animation in A2 size. it's a huge task isn't ? Omaigoddd. I'm scared ! This is the final assessment whether I manage to get into design or non-design. This is my first time to do stop-motion animation. For 1 second of animation, we need at least 12-23 frames of drawing, so imagine how much drawing I have to do just for 30 seconds stop-motion animation. 360-690 drawings?! shit.

Paku Exhibition Night.

Paku is our batch name. Although it sounds weird, but the meaning is there. I am the assistant room manager of the event. Nothing much to do, just book the exhibition room, arrange the chairs, stage and others. I hope I can devote something to my fellow course-mates and the exhibition day will be great.

23th October 2010 : submit Architecture Drafting portfolio.

haih. haih. haih. I'm tired of all this stuffs. I do enjoy doing draughtsmanship exercise but not in rushing mood. When the drawing is completed, and the shape of the object is visible, it such a beautiful satisfaction. The starting point is just based on a line, and the combination of lines give a shape. awesome. but, draughtsmanship never fail to get into my nerves when I have to re-dos all the exercises. I took at least 2-4 hours for every draughtsmanship exercise. imagine. haih.

25th October 2010 - 5 November 2010 : Final Examination.

Ya Allah. I hope I can do very well in my final examination. I'm so freaking nervous cause until this day, my effort is zero! Even if I didn't manage to get myself into foundation in design, I will always be a designer in my own ways.. definitely.

see. how busy I am ? that's why I'm neglecting my blog.. sighhh.